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Being a bit of an amateur producer myself I always wonder whether other people know when they are making a hit or not. Like it strikes me that Kylie Minogue put out “2 Hearts” before “Wow“. Likewise Katy Perry putting out “UR So Gay” before “I Kissed A Girl”. I speak personally from experience that I know when I’m writing good and something bad. You just know - you become critical of yourself and music is all about pleasing your own artistic requirements so your constantly striving for that song that makes you go “yes”. Essentially I always try to write a song that I wished I had in my music collection. It’s a “no one else has written it so I’m going to have to” kinda thing.

Late Of The Pier strike me as the kind of band that either know exactly what they’re doing or don’t have a fucking clue. Their tracks are all over the place but I’ve decided to pick on “Focker” because it’s the best example.

Now, either Late Of The Pier were writing the song and thought, “this is way too fucking good, this song will still be selling in the year 8,000 if we release this, we need to make it a bit shitter” or they got a case of “let’s just add one more synth to the mix to enhance the track a bit more”. And of course one more synth becomes 12 and the end result is shit.

Late Of The Pier’s “Focker” is the shittest most amazing track ever. Listening to it will send you on a rollercoaster of highs and lows for a number of reasons. Let’s break it down (refer to above video for audio reference).

• 0:00 - 0:08: Fucking awesome intro. Big 80’s drum hit, awesome guitar riff, kick ass tempo.
• 0:09 - 0:11: What the fuck is that synth sound all about. It makes my ears die a little.
• 0:12 - 0:14: That modulation is totally awesome. *starts dancing…
• 0:14 - 0:26: … stops dancing* — is that lead riff even in key?
• 0:26 - 0:37: An enjoyable verse with lots of kick drums and nice bleeps and blops.
• 0:37 - 0:58: Awesome chorus backing synth ruined by shit vocals.
• 0:58 - 1:09: Still not sure if that’s in key?
• 1:09 - 1:21: Even more brutal verse than last time. That fucking kicks ass with the mini-breakdown. Hell yeah.
• 1:21 - 1:41 - Again kick ass backing arps killed by shit vocals.
• 1:41 - 1:53 - Quality tempo slow down a nice big noises.
• 1:53 - 2:09 - Horrible wailing from lead singer.
• 2:09 - 2:24 - Nice big drum beat.
• 2:24 - 2:43 - Cool/horrible feedback.
• 2:43 - 2:58 - ABSOLUTELY FUCKING AWESOME RIFF.
• 2:58 - 2:59 - Nice little break up.
• 3:00 - 3:18 - Awesome ending.

I’m still not sure whether I enjoy that song or not.