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Any of you that have had a conversation with me about books over the last sorta - 6 months? - will know that I’ve really gotten into reading again. As a kid I used to read bollock-loads but I just kinda fell out of the habbit you know.

I probably only read the Harry Potter series and Alice In Wonderland during high-school which, to be honest, is pretty depressing when I look back.

I don’t really know why I got back into books - but one day in the summer last year I think I just decided I needed to start reading again and so I have. And to be honest I’ve trailblazed through about 20 books since then.

But I want to talk about a specific genre which I don’t really know the name for. Again if you’ve spoken to me about books in the past 6 months you’ll know that I’m really into sort of (what I guess can only be described as) social observational books.

Generally they’re fictional novels which have the thinnest of plots imaginable. See, the book is more about the way in which people interact and blindingly obvious observations that kinda make you sit back and think: “woah - people really do that.”

If you’re into thick, dense plots you’ll hate these books. But - if people both fascinate and annoy you then you’ll love these books.

Now you’ll have to bare with me if I make a few mistakes in explaining the actual content of the book ‘cos I read two of these last year - so any literature nazis out there can fuck off - I’m just trying get across my point of view as to why people should read these.

Essentially The CatcherIn The Rye murdered John Lennon. I would say the book deals with teenage rebellion at the core but for me it was more about seeing through people.

Basically it deals with a guy called Holden Caulfield and it manifests a week or so of his life. It deals with his thoughts, his opinions and his general… not depression… but more his understanding of the humans we interact with everyday.

He labels virtually everyone he meets as “phony” (I think that’s how you spell it right?) and basically it just goes into detail of how this protagonist in the novel can see through everyones front. He notices cliques, he knows when people lie, he knows when people put up a front for their own gains. And he realises that the place he lives (which I think is New York) is filled with people thinking they’re something they’re not.

To be fair the rules apply to anywhere outside New York though because you will have met people like in this book and they may even piss you off to.

It’s quite scary how when you relate to Holden Caulfield you realise either: a) how fucking bitter you are or; b) how fucking weird you are. Sometimes the easiest thing would be to just fit in with everyone else. But then you’d be just as fake as they are.

That’s what that book is about.

Read it.

BASICALLY - This Book Will Save Your Life is fundamentally very similar to The Catcher In The Rye but perhaps not as angry. It’s a comedy book on the surface really but beneath that there’s kinda the ongoing theme that money doesn’t buy happiness I guess.

It’s a book made up of contradictions really - for example the protagonist is a fitness freak but the first person he befriends owns a donut store. It’s subtle, and I guess in reality it’s not funny at all but I guess that’s kinda the thing that book draws it’s humour from. It’s like - the things that happen in life aren’t funny but you can either laugh or cry about them right? That’s kinda the feeling I got from this book.

Some of the contradictions are so genius that you have to sit back and really notice them though: example - Richard (the main character) is a fitness freak (i.e. he’s keeping fit in order to prolong his life) but the problem with him is - he doesn’t feel like he’s living at all. The book never tells you to think any more about this but when you reflect on the story you think - that’s fucking stupid - he’s trying so hard to prolong his life but he hates it.

It’s all about simple pleasures. And making do I guess. It’s about people too though and their need for self indulgence. In one part of the book Richard gets ran over and the woman gets out of the car and starts shouting at him telling him he’s “ruined” her day.

Ah-hahah. Genius.

Read it.

Right I’m about 260 pages into this one just now so I haven’t finished it yet but I can still talk about it. This is for anyone that’s either worked in an office, supermarket, been to school, etc. etc.

It’s set in an office and it’s narrated from a kinda plural first-person narrative - a.k.a. “we did this, we did that”. It’s pretty much the most hilarious social observation ever. It deals with the absolute pettiness (sp?) of peoples personalities and also the compulsive obligations people commit too. Example: at school you always sit in the same chair right? That’s your place. Why would you sit anywhere else? This book deals with the chairs in an office - and how they become an extension of their body. It’s THEIR chair. If anyone else touches it they want to know why, and they want to do something about it.

It’s quality because it’s observations that go unmissed unless they’re pointed out to you but they’re so fucking true. The way in which people gossip about each other behind closed doors and the way that gossip spreads. Everything has been explored down to the scariest depths in this book - and it’s just hilarious to see what idiots as people we really are.

But the fact is - we ARE like that.

Read it.

• Celebrities are allowed to use drugs.
• The Beatles are the best new band ever invented.
• Emo kids are to be renamed “Dickensian kids” when the new Panic (!) At The Disco album drops.
• Mortals are not allowed to use drugs.
• English people are weaker than American people apart from the rugby players. “They are mental”.
• Apparently I’m humorous. I thought I was the most unfunny human being on the planet?
• Those that listen to heavy metal are more narrow-minded than those that listen to any other genre.
• Football is a mindless sport for Brits with no passion.
• (North) American Football is the best sport ever invented in the whole history of the world of sport ever created ever.
• In 2002 “viewership for the World Cup exceeded 1 billion” worldwide.
• In 2004 the Euro 2004 final between Portugal and Greece had 153 million viewers worldwide.
• In 2004 95 million tuned in to the Super Bowl final.
• (North) American Football is the best sport in the world.
• I have a vagina. It’s scent is a cross between canned tuna-fish and rain on warm tarmac.
• England is the poorest country in the world.
• Americans are more intelligent than the English because they have “tactics” in (North) American Football.
• My copy of Fleetwood Mac “Rumours” is warped.
• Honesty is definitely not the best policy. Always lie.
• The English killed comedy. Stop guys. We’re just NOT funny. *hangs head and goes to watch Friends*
• Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker on the Mega Drive is the most repetitive game ever. But bloody good at that.
• America is not part of the world. It is it’s own world with the other countries tagging along.
• “Let It Be” is a pretty shit track…
• … As is “The Girl Is Mine” (of Michael Jackson fame).
• Only pussies listen to pop music.
• I would have shagged Stevie Nicks in the 70’s.
• Fantasy novels can be incredibly cliche at times. The cliche ones are the bollocks ones.
• Everyone likes different things. Some people like shit things.
• Sweeney Todd is going to be amazingly amazing.
• Universities take way too long to process applications.
• The cost of living is far too high.
• The cost of luxuries are far too high.

I think that’s pretty much it for this week.

For those that wanted a source for the figures I pulled up on (North) American Football click here.

How can I be on a top B, low A and end up with an E? Thanks for fucking things up for me.

Results tomorrow. How do I feel? A bit empty to be fair. I’m a little worried - but not overly. I’m a little excited - but not extravagantly. I feel like normal - but with a slight twinge at the back of my stomach.

What happens if I’ve messed up 7 years of education? Well - not a lot really. I can put it right with retakes and such - retakes which would hinder everyone elses plans - but for me, it’s no real big deal seeing as I have no real plans.

However - I’m trying so hard to put that right. I’m really thinking, research, talking, anything to try and give me a decision. I’m sure I’ll come to one soon enough.  Well - I can’t do much more than I am doing anyway.

… you may have noticed that the podcast is STILL not work. I think it’s fair to say I’m slightly peeved.

Only kidding - they seem to have some great support over at their site so I’m sure it’ll be up and running in no time. Like.

Since I was about 4 I’ve been doing homework, walking to school and studying needless information - and apparently it all culminated into the last two weeks: a simple memory test and an evaluation of the application of that knowledge.

The latter, naturally, was the harder part as my written communication is less than accurate; this blog supplying more than ample evidence of that fact.

I must admit - I am a little sad - but it’s from now I have decided to change my personality for the better. Such a milestone as the end of high school kinda makes you think about yourself - and I like to think that if I didn’t see anyone from school for a year, they would end up meeting a nicer person.

My decision to stop drinking alcohol has been developing for a while but it kicks in as of this moment. I’m far from a heavy drinker and so the justification of following up the “Do you drink?” question with a “… Kinda?” has been wearing thin for a while. I don’t even like the taste so it’s about time I answered with a “No”. And now I can. It’s not justification on anyone else mind. Those who like to drink - that’s great. I’ll stand with you. I’ll just prefer not standing there with a pint in my hand.

At the end of the day though. That’s not really the major change. I mean to be honest - that’s a very minimal change on my current self.

See, I think the human race is “too aware” of themselves. For some that includes characteristics of over-confidence, while others use more subtle methods of “drawing attention to themselves”. I complain.

I get moody over the littlest things. I mean if someone were to describe me as “laid-back” I would laugh in their faces. But I don’t want that. I want people to tell me I’m laid-back and know they mean it. At the end of the day I take everything too seriously. But why? None of us know how much time we’re going to be blessed with - maybe we should all start to enjoy the ride a bit more?

That’s exactly what I’m going to do.

What a load of contrived, nonsensical bullshit. They should rename the General Studies exam something along the lines of “the examination of how many polysyllabic words from our dictionary labelled ‘Elitist’ you can understand”.

A true waste of genuine Business Studies revision time. As predicted.