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This guy’s reaction to eating one of the worlds hottest chili’s (a habanero) is moderately amusing — he goes from being a man to a boy in 10 seconds.

Is Soul Calibur IV A Bit Pervey?

Haha this is a hilarious one: I’m hearing people talk about Soul Calibur IV as if it’s a little uncomfortable to play. On the GiantBomb.com podcast yesterday Ryan Davis described playing the game as “uncomfortable” and not because of it’s gameplay (which he stated “it plays like Soul Calibur should”). Ryan was of course referring to the outlandish characters and their scale on the perve-o-meter. Given that I’ve always considered Soul Calibur a pervey game I haven’t thought much of it. Until now.

So decide for yourselves, based on the following female characters that are present in the game, is Soul Calibur IV a bit pervey?

Cassandra Alexandra in Soul Calibur IV

Ivy Valentine in Soul Calibur IV

Seong Mi-Na in Soul Calibur IV

Sophitia Alexandra in Soul Calibur IV

Taki in Soul Calibur IV

Shura in Soul Calibur IV

There were tons more characters I could have put here. Look, I’m not going to pass judgement, all I’m going to say is that the artwork is fucking good - pervey or not.

Do you all remember when the GameCube came out? Do you remember the media furore? Because I don’t. I think Nintendo marketed with this people fighting in the middle of a glass box or something shit. What an awful campaign. No one remembers it and the console is now defunct.

Do you remember when the best game ever (Zelda: Ocarina Of Time) came out? Remember that brilliant tagline to the advert you saw like twice over the Christmas period? “Save the world, get the girl!”. If everybody wasn’t touting Zelda to be the best game ever I think many would have overlooked the game due to the absolutely shit tagline.

Nintendo have always been wank at marketing but with the DS and Wii they must have finally employed some new suckers because they seriously know what they are doing now, right? I could go on and on about the Touch Generations adverts and the “casual audience” marketing of the Wii but there’s something particular I want to talk about: “Why every guy should buy their girlfriend Wii Fit”.

Now everyone knows sex sells and hence why the recent Youtube craze which has seen an influx of videos depicting scantily-clad ladies playing away at Wii Fit. An obvious viral marketing strategy and an absolutely fantastic one at that.

With most people now oblivious to Internet advertising and to some degree Television advertising (Sky+ generation?) companies are having to find new ways to promote their products and I really do think this is a fantastic way of marketing Wii Fit. Of course, it’s possible the videos haven’t been created under Nintendo’s back but I seriously doubt that.

What I am impressed by (if this is a viral marketing tactic) is the sheer cunning that Nintendo’s team have gone to. It’s almost like subliminal marketing. You have the power of the chick wobbling her bits about, the power of the title (”Why you should buy your girlfriend Wii Fit” is particularly powerful as it suggests that by buying your game you’re gonna improve your sex life) and it’s also a free medium of promoting the game worldwide.

It’s genius. Simply genius. I can’t help but think the girls playing the game look a bit silly though?

It would be a little like this one.

• Celebrities are allowed to use drugs.
• The Beatles are the best new band ever invented.
• Emo kids are to be renamed “Dickensian kids” when the new Panic (!) At The Disco album drops.
• Mortals are not allowed to use drugs.
• English people are weaker than American people apart from the rugby players. “They are mental”.
• Apparently I’m humorous. I thought I was the most unfunny human being on the planet?
• Those that listen to heavy metal are more narrow-minded than those that listen to any other genre.
• Football is a mindless sport for Brits with no passion.
• (North) American Football is the best sport ever invented in the whole history of the world of sport ever created ever.
• In 2002 “viewership for the World Cup exceeded 1 billion” worldwide.
• In 2004 the Euro 2004 final between Portugal and Greece had 153 million viewers worldwide.
• In 2004 95 million tuned in to the Super Bowl final.
• (North) American Football is the best sport in the world.
• I have a vagina. It’s scent is a cross between canned tuna-fish and rain on warm tarmac.
• England is the poorest country in the world.
• Americans are more intelligent than the English because they have “tactics” in (North) American Football.
• My copy of Fleetwood Mac “Rumours” is warped.
• Honesty is definitely not the best policy. Always lie.
• The English killed comedy. Stop guys. We’re just NOT funny. *hangs head and goes to watch Friends*
• Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker on the Mega Drive is the most repetitive game ever. But bloody good at that.
• America is not part of the world. It is it’s own world with the other countries tagging along.
• “Let It Be” is a pretty shit track…
• … As is “The Girl Is Mine” (of Michael Jackson fame).
• Only pussies listen to pop music.
• I would have shagged Stevie Nicks in the 70’s.
• Fantasy novels can be incredibly cliche at times. The cliche ones are the bollocks ones.
• Everyone likes different things. Some people like shit things.
• Sweeney Todd is going to be amazingly amazing.
• Universities take way too long to process applications.
• The cost of living is far too high.
• The cost of luxuries are far too high.

I think that’s pretty much it for this week.

For those that wanted a source for the figures I pulled up on (North) American Football click here.

I dunno why but this just totally got me. Thought I’d share it.

Well I thought this was funny anyway. They give out free porn for every two cups of tea you buy.