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Newsflash: Katy Perry is going to be insanely huge. I said it in May when I heard second single “I Kissed A Girl” and since playing through debut album “One Of The Boys” there is no doubt in my mind that this album is going to blow up big time worldwide. She’s set to invade the UK in September — so if you want bragging rights or need to be aware of avoiding mainstream radio in September, here it is.

Katy Perry’s album has a unique yet mainstream sound at the same time: similarly to Lily Allen, Perry’s album is unique while still having a commercially accessible sound. This is manufactured pop at it’s best, so if you’re too cool for that - better skip the review.

The album track starts with title track “One Of The Boys” and it only takes 40 seconds of the song for you to know that this album is going to be both awesome and massive. Kicking of with chugging power chords and synths Katy opens with “I saw a spider I didn’t scream, ‘cos I can belch the alphabet just double dare me”. Essentially a song about not doing typical girlie things the song builds into a massive chorus where several harmonies support the main melody. The tune is hummable and likeable which culminates in a clapping breakdown before the final note rings out leading into the beat of second single (in the US), “I Kissed A Girl”.

“I Kissed A Girl” secures Katy’s tongue in cheek lyrical style as a fuzz bass-line chugs on top of the beat. She sings “it’s not what good girls do, not how they should behave” before culminating in the line “I kissed a girl and I liked it, // the taste of her cherry chapstick”. The chorus goes into a fit of saw bass and subby kicks which totally changes up the dynamic of the song and is going to set clubs alight this summer.

“Waking Up In Vegas” slows the pace of the album down where Katy shows off her vocal range. Her singing style is not over-the-top but has enough expression to it. The song builds into a track reminiscent of Avril Lavigne and Paramore — the commercial pop-rock sound. “Waking Up In Vegas” isn’t the strongest song on the album but is still perfectly hummable, like everything else on this album.

Moving on with the slower sound “Thinking Of You” kicks off with picked acoustic and Katy whining “comparisons are easily done // once you’ve had a taste of perfection”. Another of the more serious tracks on the album her voice almost reminds me of Dixie Chicks country rock.

“Mannequin” starts very delicately with a nice delayed piano riff and a subtle sawtooth synth riff before building into a chugging rock track, “you’re not a man, you’re just a mannequin”. The song is very progressive as it switches between nice and delicate and then constant building.

The first single in the US was “UR So Gay” which superstar Madonna touted live on radio, starting the snowball effect of Katy Perry fans in America. Definitely with Lily Allen in mind the song chugs along with a reggae/ska beat and bassline as Katy’s tongue-in-cheek lyrics return:

“I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to Mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway

You don’t eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive

You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys”

The song is held together with a brilliant brass riff and some nice use of synthesizers and whistling. Definitely one of the stand out tracks of the album.

“Hot n Cold” starts off slowly with an arpeggiated synth and “house” drum beat before turning into another Kelly Clarkson-esque rock chick. Again it’s another super-catchy track but maybe not as original as the other songs.

“If You Can Afford Me” has a very stylised guitar strumming riff in the verse before building into another Avril Lavigne style chorus. However, like I’ve said about earlier tracks - Katy’s voice has little country flickers in it so these rock tracks sound more Dixie Chicks or Michelle Branch than Paramore or Lavigne. “Lost” continues the trend of acoustic guitars as Katy once again shows off her vocal range on top of a dreamy backing of xylophone and toms.

“Self Inflicted” is the punkiest song on the track: chugging power chords, distorted bass and Cure-esque dreamy delay pedals. This is the song that will make it ok for the “punk-kids” to listen to Katy Perry and still get away with wearing black even though tracks like “I’m Still Breathing” which is almost like a classical pop-song in influence contradict that.

“Fingerprints” closes the album with more Avril Lavigne-stylised guitar riffs and vocals. It’s a disappointing end to the album as it chooses to follow it’s pop-punk routes as opposed to it’s pop roots - but again it will appeal to the “goth-kids”. Note the tongue in cheek.

“One Of The Boys” may head too far in the direction of manufactured pop-punk for my liking but there is enough manufactured electro-pop in the record to keep me listening. Catchiest record I’ve heard for a while.

9/10.

• Katy Perry Official Website
• Katy Perry MySpace

I saw the “Hot” video today.

Mmm.

The song is utter-cods-wallop as a “rock” song (but then again - hate to ruin everything for you little girlies but Avril never was “rock” or “punk”) but I think it’s an “ok-for-what-it-is-pop” song.

Anyway, the point of this blog is to point out a few reasons as to why Avril is better than she was 4 years ago (or however long ago “Skater Boy” came out):

• Everyone can now pronounce her name (when I first heard “Complicated” I used to refer to her as Avril “that surname that starts with lav”).
• She no longer pretends her music is “punk”. It never was.
• All her “biggest” fans hate her ‘cos she sold out. (i.e. stopped pretending she was “punk”).
• All the Kylie Minogue fans like her because she’s now accepted the fact that she’s a manufactured pop star.
• She’s clearly had a boob job.
• She’s clearly been told by her record label to be a complete and utter slag.
• She wears less clothes in her videos.
• The production people have made the songs even louder than ever. Screw dynamics - compress, compress, compress.
• She now uses like 909 claps or something (in Girlfriend) which add to the uber-poppiness. Sammy likes claps.
• The production team decided that she should sound less “rock” and more “pop” so actually decided to use the other 3/4’s of the studio which had gathered dust. This other 3/4 was used to create those reversey, delay-ey, flangey “Hey” and “You”(’s) in Girlfriend.
• She has a Green corset thing in the “Hot” video and a stupid haircut (the “celebrity”, “paparazzi”, red carpet bit).
• They airbrush her more.

I wonder how many kiddies have taken to green “babydolls” as their casual wear instead of black “Atticus” shirts?

I love cliches.

Anyway here is the “Hot” video:

It’s worth putting up with the nasal-ness for the little bit 47 seconds in where she does a little slutty strut.

As for the song - like I said - I like it. But then again I’m not one of those elitist musical types that hate on a song because it’s pop/mainstream/catchy.

Avril Lavigne, Kylie Minogue, Busted, McFly, whatever, is impossible to hate deep down. That’s why the record company have so many people working on each song, manufacturing it so you like it. You can deny liking it on the surface - but I think we all know what happens inside.

Give in guys - pop doesn’t make you gay. It doesn’t make you mainstream. It just means you appreciate that someone (not neccessarily the artist) has put in fuck loads of work to make a song that you can’t dislike and need to play on loop.

Whether you choose to hate it because it makes you uncool is up to you - but any man that says they wouldn’t fuck her is a liar.

Unless of course you REALLY don’t like the song and REALLY wouldn’t fuck her. In which case you’ve just wasted a few minutes of your life reading this.