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I Hate Heights.

Mirror’s Edge is a 7 out of 10. A big fat 7. I haven’t reviewed it myself because I couldn’t be arsed. You can get plenty of other opinion over at Metacritic should you desire it.

So, why exactly would this particular video gamer give it a 7? Well on the positive side it’s innovative, COLOURFUL, mostly fun and makes you feel badass. On the negative side it’s frustrating, JAGGED, somewhat irritating and makes you feel like ass. Mirror’s Edge is as up and down as a… yoyo?

To say I have been the biggest Mirror’s Edge fanboy EVER leading up to it’s release would be an understatement. I think people actually questioned whether I worked for EA or not. Which I might by the way. You’ll never know.

So anyway - with Mirror’s Edge having it’s fair share of problems I thought it was high-time someone pointed out in detail how you can turn that frown upside down for the inevitable sequel.

• Please God no more “I know where to go but have no idea how the fuck I get there” moments. I actually don’t have a problem with runner vision being on everything. Every ledge you need to grasp, every wall you need to wall run, every block you need to climb up. I know they didn’t do it in order to make you think but… I just feel Mirror’s Edge is a game a bit like Sonic - you should spend more time feeling bad ass and less time thinking. Runner vision on everything would allow you to consistently see your way, how to get there and keep the flow of the game constantly moving.
• Make Faith tougher or the guards less tough or take out combat all together. There are moments in Mirror’s Edge where you’re like “shit, guards, shit I don’t know where to go, shit if I punch them they’ll kill me, shit if I run past them they’ll kill me, shit… SHIT” and your face will go purple and explode. If there was an easier way of getting past the guards it would be much, much better. A hand gun perhaps would work extremely well? You could pull it out when you need it, get some quick headshots and keep running? Whatever they do the combat needs to be tweaked because I understand the purpose of Faith not being very tough (because she’s not really meant to fight at all) but getting past the guards at times can be frustrating at best.
• The graphics could be more simplistic. I’m a big fan of the art direction in Mirror’s Edge. A big fan. It’s so refreshing, so gloriously fresh and clean that it makes me want to cry red, white and blue tears of joy but we all those that have played it know it’s not quite perfect. The problem is, given the nature of the game you’re constantly closed in next to walls and various other elements of scenery. And while the game looks glossy and sassy from a distance, those textures become horribly yucky when up close. The solution? Don’t have textures at all. Am I the only one that thought Mirror’s Edge would look much better if every element of scenery looking like a shiney piece of rubber. The shape of the objects would remain unchanged… I just think it would stand out even more if it went for an entirely minimalistic look.
• Get rid of those “animated” cut scenes. Faith is a fucking cool character in my opinion. Celeste is a fucking cool character in my opinion. All the characters are fucking cool characters in my opinion. So how come they never get rendered into cutscenes. If Mirror’s Edge was a bit less video gamey and a bit more Half-Lifey, Dead Spacey, Bioshocky where the story unfolds as you play without “cut-scenes” as such I think it would be a lot, lot, lot, lot, lot more immersive. They need to find a way of getting you more attached to Faith. I’d need to put more thought into how but I loved the way they did the reflections when Faith is hanging from the helicopter. The game is called Mirror’s Edge after all? Perhaps more of a focus on the ol’ looking glass could be made? Everytime I pass glass, everytime I see water, everytime I’m near a metallic surface there’s Faith’s face staring back at me, reacting to what’s going on, beads of sweat on her brow.
• More lovely swooshy electronic dream pop. I’m sure one of the things that sold the game to a lot of people was the soundtrack. It may sound odd but it just walked hand in hand with the tone of the game the trailers were setting. So it was a shame to see said soundtrack horrendously underused. Music is a big part of the video game experience even though it’s often the last thing people talk about but I think Mirror’s Edge is the kinda game that would benefit from a real kicking soundtrack. At present the ambient blips and blobs suit the tone but they don’t exactly stand out… it would be interesting to hear the synths swoosh when you’re high up and then the mids and bass shuffle into the mix as you move between varying heights.
• Tweak the story please. I realise they’ve kinda already set the story in motion now, and I have no desire to give anything away to those that haven’t played it yet, but please can it be more like Brave New World and 1984. I love the whole dystopian nightmare setting thing… but in this game… I dunno, something felt wrong with the government. From the way they were called “blues” to the way they were constantly trying to kill you. I’d rather it was much more a gothic, frightened world that TOTALLY antithesised the visuals than the current world with pro-wrestlers and just cringey moments.

More Mirrors In Mirror's Edge?

And that’s how I think they should make Mirror’s Edge 2. Because the basis is there. And it’s fucking great. Don’t get me wrong I love Mirror’s Edge. But you just feel that it could be so, so, so much more.

Still, props to DICE and EA for doing something totally, totally different.

The Game Can Look This Good. But Not Often.

Quantum Of Solace is obviously the latest Bond game to tie in with the new movie. It’s out on just about every system you could imagine, ever.

What I liked:

• Quantum Of Solace uses the Call Of Duty 4 engine. That means every bullet feels ultra satisfying, the multiplayer matchmaking algorithm is wonderful and everything just feels smooth as fuck in the gameplay.
• The cover system is well implemented - you’ll be able to run towards any nearby walls and snap Bond behind them allowing for some pop-and-shoot gameplay. You’ll need to use the cover too if you want to survive as the game has been tweaked with this in mind. The levels are well designed to include enough unique spaces to hide behind.
• Early on in the game some of the environments look phenomonal. Bright, colourful and exaggerated. I’d almost like to say it has a lovely look to it but… well it only looks great sometimes.
• The train level was better than most Goldeneye levels. When you race to jump across the seperating train, run through the rain and watch Daniel Craig’s clothes drip when in cover — it looks brilliant and the level has some awesome set pieces.
• The Golden Gun multiplayer mode is great fun. This mode has players competing to takedown the person with the Golden Gun.
• The “poisoned Bond” mission. While gimmicky it was fun controlling Bond’s journey from the card game in Casino Royale to the defib in his car. Some of the visual effects are impressive.

What I didn’t like:

• Single player is ridiculously short. You’ll literally only spend about 4 or 5 hours completing the single player portion of the game. Thankfully the hardest difficulty is particularly tough so will keep you occupied for some time.
• To boot the single player is relatively linear. There is usually only one route you can take and while the missions are generally well put together; passaged blocked by boxes or strips of fire are particularly “video gamey”.
• The multiplayer mode “Bond Versus” is too drawn out and frustrating. In this mode one player is Bond, trying to defuse two bombs while all the other players work as a team to take Bond out. Everyone has a turn as Bond and given each round can be 5 minutes long, it’s… well… irritating.
• The graphics in cutscenes and later levels are horrendous. In the final level I questioned whether I was playing the Playstation 2 version of the game. Clearly more attention was paid in the earlier levels.
• The story is tied together by a series of debriefing sequences that become a little muddled throughout.
• The title of the game is misleading. Most of the missions in the game are from Casino Royale.

Overall, Quantum Of Solace is definitely a solid shooter. It fails to ever make you feel like Bond and has it’s ups and downs in the graphical stakes but if you’re happy to overlook the length of the game there is plenty of fun to be had from the competent shooting mechanics and multiplayer modes.

7/10.

Bond Is So Hard These Days.

When my Dad and I watch 70’s/80’s British cop shows (The Sweeney, The Professionals) we always have one resounding groan about certain episodes: “Oh noooo,” we’ll call, “It’s a political one.” Meaning - “bloody nora, we’ll never decipher what the fuck’s going on because politics never make sense”.

Quantum Of Solace gave me that feeling initially. Of course - Bond films always rely on politics to some degree - foreign relations and all that, but, Quantum Of Solace was particularly heavy. America are being naughty and garnering oil. This dude who says he can get oil is double crossing America because he wants to cut off some poorer towns water supply. This other president dude is looking out for his people so agrees to give the dude who wants to stop people drinking land in order to make dams. The hot chick is on a revenge mission because the president killed her Mum and sister. And Bond… well it’s him against the British government yet again as they try their damned hardest to stop him doing the job they pay him for.

So all in all it’s a bit complicated and will probably require frequent viewings of both the new flick and Casino Royale before you decipher exactly what’s going on.

While the plot’s heavy the dialogue and action is gritty like it’s predecessor. Daniel Craig’s Bond is more gritty than all the previous Bonds put together and he’s awesome at it. Some might even dare to say he’s a better Bond than Connery although this particular writer is too afraid to upset the traditionalists.

He's A Git Isn't He?

We need only mention that support actress Olga Kurylenko is hot seeing as I’ve no doubt that’s all anticipating (male) viewers will want from her. She gives a satisfyingly moody performance that suits the overall tone of the film but is much less of a focus than, for example, Eva Green as Vesper Lynd was. Seeing as the entire plot of Quantum Of Solace is born out of Vesper’s ashes though it would be unfair to compare the two ladies. Olga’s Camille is more of a well executed throw-away. It should be also mentioned in the obligatory Bond-girl paragraph that Gemma Arterton of period-drama fame puts in a staggering performance as the aptly named Strawberry Fields (Forever). So much so it’s a sin she spends less than 15 minutes on screen.

Oh and there are amazing explosions and car chases and boat chases and plane chases and stuff.

All in all though Quantum Of Solace picks up where Casino Royale left off… it could never be as ground breaking but it’s almost as good, if not a little baffling for this reviewers tiny mind.

8/10.

"Yummy Mummy" Dr. Hurley

“If you’ve never really been in the market for a self-improvement game, Brain Challenge will do nothing to change your mind. On the other hand, if you already count yourself as a hardcore fan of the genre or simply want to jump onto the edutainment bandwagon then Brain Challenge is not only fun but it’s also very cheap.”

You can read the full review and get that all important score over at WiiWare-World.com.

Doo-Bee-Do-Do-Doo.

LittleBigPlanet is the best Nintendo game that Nintendo didn’t make.

It-is-what-you-make-it / 10.

Dead Space: Downfall Review On Blu-Ray & DVD

I loved Dead Space. It took one of my favourite games ever (Resident Evil 4) and improved on it in every way, providing solid lighting, some amazing sound design and a decent story to boot. Dead Space: Downfall builds on the story in the game by providing some more context.

I suppose you could argue that Dead Space: Downfall provides a little too much context — a good portion of scares come from the sense of an unknown and having watched this movie and played the game it’s fair to say I know a lot about the Necromorphs now. Necromorphs being the brutal bloody alien things that are infecting the bodies of the crew members on U.S.G Ishimura.

The story takes place days before Isaac Clarke’s arrival on the ship in the Dead Space game. The mysterious “marker” has been discovered on the planet Aegis and is being transported to the Ishimura to be brought back to Earth.

Cue all kinds of shocking gore-moments that respectfully keep the “shock” factor the game had in tact. The problem is that the urgency of the Ishimura changing from a quaint planet cracking space craft to an outer-space haunted house kinda loses the movie it’s “horror” title and turns it into more of a action flick.

Which is fair enough because the action it provides is fast-paced, gory and exciting — it’s just worth pointing out that those expecting a tense, slow-burning flick more akin to the game might be disappointed.

The majority of characters are well designed, drawn and animated but sadly there are some hiccups in the script - namely with the way certain characters react to circumstances on screen. In a room surrounded by Necromorphs lead protagonist Alyssa asks Nicole if she has a boyfriend to which she responds she does. Those who played the game will know she’s referring to Isaac Clarke and while it ties the plot of the game and the movie together it’s just a bit strained. Likewise characters seem less bothered about the death of crew or friends than you’d expect. It just lacks a kind of emotion but doesn’t detract too much.

The movie is quite a dark movie given the greys and browns you’d expect from the colouring of the Ishimura. Sadly, the movie lacks the same kind of light/dark contrast the game provides as it opts for a consistently brooding tone. However what it does well is mimic the environments you will have seen in the game and it’s clear that attention has been paid to make things consistent between the two.

This is mainly what makes Downfall a worthy purchase. It’s clear that EA are trying to build a strong new franchise and are succeeding. With the characters and story in place and a sequel and movie in the works you can only commend EA for opting to support a brand new IP. There’s no doubt Dead Space could have been a flop but with a critically acclaimed video game and an animated movie that will no doubt interest converts to the series there is no reason to not pick up Downfall. If you enter this movie expecting a decent action flick that ties into the game nicely you can’t really be disappointed.

Extras:

• Deleted scene.
• Trailers.
• Music score.
• Artwork.
• Secret cheat code.

Official Dead Space Website

7/10.

Isaac Issues Some Punishment

Isn’t it refreshing to be genuinely excited about EA releases again? I mean - they’ve been rehashing the same series’ for years now: Fifa, Madden, Need For Speed, Medal Of Honour… *snore*. Then all of a sudden in the latter months of 2008 we get two huge breakout titles: Mirror’s Edge and Dead Space.

To describe Dead Space in a few words is pretty simple — it’s Resident Evil crossed with Metroid Prime. Unlike other games that steal the best concepts from other games though Dead Space actually perfects them. The over-the-shoulder camera from Resident Evil 4 is tuned to perfection so you always feel like you have enough control to quell any forthcoming dangers whereas the Metroid Prime influences really set the tone for one of (what I think is) the scariest games ever.

Dead Space has a futuristic space setting and is set on a ship called the Ishimura. The Ishimura is a mining ship and has been sent to far away planets to garner natural resources; something the Earth now has none of. When contact is broken between Earth and the Ishimura, the games protagonist Isaac is sent out to fix communications. Throw in an obligatory love interest and Isaac heads into the Ishimura looking for his girlfriend but finds something much more frightening than a woman scorned.

The ship appears to be deserted until you start hearing stange creeping sounds and reading writing on the walls. Dead Space is so effective as a horror game because of it’s subtleties: the sound especially makes you feel like you really are stranded in outer space. And because Isaac is not a space marine you genuinely fear for him. This guy is just a relatively average engineer left fighting for his life.

Isaac is all the more successful as a protagonist because he never talks throughout the game. Think Link from the Zelda series and you’ll get the idea. The plot is driven through audio logs and video correspondence from the other two members of Isaac’s team. What was initially a repair mission becomes a fight for survival as the ship locks down and makes escape almost impossible.

This passive means of story telling which was made popular by Bioshock is a neat decision in Dead Space because the game is all about immersion. There is no HUD — instead Isaac’s health is represented by glowing blue strip down his suit; ammo is represented by a holograph above his gun and even using your inventory doesn’t stop the action. That means when you’re about to be mauled by a giant space monster there’s no pausing the game to eat up a medi-pack. You’re gonna have to try to avoid attacks while you fiddle through your inventory.

The enemies are particularly nasty too. A kind of cross between alien and human it’s the way that you kill them which has gotten most press buzz. Unlike typical zombie games where a simple head shot will suffice, Dead Space encourages a system EA are touting as “strategic dismemberment”. Essentially what this means is that “typical” head shots will not kill an enemy. Instead you have to shoot off his legs to slow him down. When you’ve shot off his legs he will still keep moving towards you — then is the time to shoot off the arms too. It’s extremely satisfying and an excellent change to the usual headshot system. It’s only made better by the range of weapons available, all of which are mining equipment designed for taking apart planets.

Dead Space does have a few issues; mainly that the gameplay is a tad linear. You’ll rarely get lost on where to go because the game conveniently locks out doors you’re not meant to go through and opens those you are. Also given the design of the Ishimura it’s very corridor based which adds to the fright factor but doesn’t give you a lot to explore. Having said that what parts you can explore are a visual tour de force. The graphics and most importantly the lighting are like nothing I have seen before in a video game and the sound is moody and haunting. My favourite parts of the game are when you come outside of the ship and thus are in a vacuum. The developers opted to apply no sound to these sections apart from Isaac’s breathing and the beeping of his suit. Imagine having an enemy creep up behind you when you can’t hear a thing and you kinda get the idea for how Dead Space delivers the jump factor.

You could nitpick and say that Dead Space’s enemies are somewhat cliche or that there is way too much backtracking through areas you have already seen but doing that would detract away from the whole experience.

It’s not a perfect game but it’s definitely the best of it’s type we’ve seen since Resident Evil 4. Ball’s in your court now Capcom.

8/10.

Sonic Loves His Attitude Problem.

“If you are patient enough to overlook a few niggles and are interested in investing some time into a decent RPG with an attractive cast of characters then look no further than Sonic Chronicles on the Nintendo DS.”

You can read the full review and get that all important final score over at NintendoLife.com.